I think you out there in ether-space can identify. I haven’t had email or internet contact since Monday (1 NOV). It’s now Thursday morning 6h24 and my twelve or so phone calls to TELKOM have yielded no result. Well a little one. While I was phoning to say the internet was not working I got cut off twice. Then, my mother told me she was also cut off when she was in conversation with her music pupil (she only has one). So, on my next call I logged a fault with the telephone as well. That was Tuesday. Wed morning I was told that my problem had not been attended to but would be put at the top of the queue. I then made sure either I or my mum (with instructions to phone me on my cell), were at home so that I could talk to the technician about my internet problem. On Tuesday I’d been talked through switching the modem off and on (had already done that twenty times before but I obliged), check cables, take them out and put them back again, check control panel, check connections, change password. Final result: LOCAL AREA CONNECTION, NETWORK CABLE UNPLUGGED. When she got to this point the woman said I must get a technician to fix it. I asked doesn’t TELKOM have technicians? Yes, she said reluctantly, but I’m not sure they’ll fix this. Don’t you know someone who knows about computers and cables? I said ‘no’ and nearly flipped. It reminded me of the time I walked into a shop that makes number plates and asked the guy if he could attach my number plate, which had fallen off, to the holder. His response: don’t you have a husband!!!!
My ire was not reduced when I phoned again at about five on Tuesday to be told that the technician had come and gone. He had worked on the cables outside the house and discovered that there was nothing wrong with the phone! What about the internet? I asked, not calmly. It is working fine on my side the woman said and started talking me through which cable goes where on the modem. I didn’t have my glasses on at that time and the wires were so tangled I got crosser and crosser. ‘Why didn’t the man knock on the door? I’ve been waiting here all day. I’ve taken off work to be here. And I can’t receive emails or work on internet. For three days now I haven’t been able to work. I’ve lost a whole lot of money!!!’ I said irritably.
That was a lie because I don’t earn any money, so nothing to lose. In fact what I’d done after a two hour writing stint at my now regular haunt at a coffee shop in West Coast Village (Chaplin’s), I came home and put up a shelf in the bookcase above the desk in my bedroom – a lot of banging and hammering involved. Then, when my mother came home from knitting group, I took a drive to Milnerton, checked out some countertops (that will be nice when and if my mother lets me redo her kitchen), went to Corobrick to check out some pavers (same thing as before, re the garden path) and then went to BRECCOS. Now there’s a find. It’s in Printer’s Way, off Freedom Way in Montague Gardens. The first time I went there it was a bit scary because I had to pass ‘Joe Slovo’, a squatter camp. This time I took a different route (via Montague Drive). The experience of walking into that place was the same – delight! It’s a seafood wholesaler. That’s where I bought the scallops we had on my fiftieth birthday, only R60 a packet that served more than ten people. They also sell crayfish really cheap. I bought one for R30 ! It wasn’t that nice, though. I put it frozen into boiling water and it came out tough. Maybe next time I’ll defrost it first. This time I bought clams (anyone know how to cook clams?) to make Linguini Vongole. I also bought smoked salmon for R18 (80g) – the main reason I went there. It was when I got home from this ’work’ trip that I phoned Telkom and discovered the man had come and gone!
Having checked the cables once more (with glasses) and discovered all the plugging and unplugging I had indeed put a wrong cable in a wrong hole and the DSL light was still flashing, I was back on the phone to TELKOM. This time, when the machine said ‘if you are an existing customer press one,’ and I did, it responded rudely: ‘YOU HAVE MADE AN INCORRECT CHOICE.’ I put down the phone and tried again. Same result. Even when the machine has reprimanded me for pressing the ‘wrong’ button and says it will put me through to an operator, it comes back again. ‘If you are an existing customer press one, if you are a new customer press two.’ I banged down one and one and one and ‘You have made an incorrect choice!’ What number do you phone when the TELKOM number for reporting faults is faulty??? Please help.
All for now, hope you all have a great day and that I’ll be able to post this on my blog in the next century.